Sigh of Relief....but is it really??

OMG!! It's finally over... Truth be told I never thought I would be this tensed up about an exam.. But I guess as the days went by the reality and the seriousness of the situation kinda kicked in and that did not do good to my stress level..

Here's the deal. I don't know what you guys mean when you say 'Oh! I'm so scared for the exam. I'm so not ready. I'm so scared I'm gonna fail!' When you hear those words coming out of my mouth I really mean it. If I don't I just wouldn't say it.

So 2 weeks of study break didn't do any justice to my studying. *In case you are wondering what I'm rambling about... I just sat for my 4th year medical school finals* Actually let's be honest.. I didn't do justice to my 2 week study break. Let's not say where the time went and what I was doing instead of burying my sad face in my books. But yeah! It just flew by and the next thing I know I just have a few more days left for my exams to start.

Tried to stuff my brain with as much stuff as I could. I was freaking out but outside I think I kinda held it pretty well. Wouldn't say I was calm and collected but at the same time I was screaming hysterically!

I have to thank a friend of mine who made sure I studied every night. Gurpreet, thank you so much! I hope all those nights and morning at Mcd studying will pay off. You are a good friend!

So back to ME! =) Towards the end, my sleeping hours were becoming lesser and lesser. * I guess that's normal in everyone's case right?*

As much as I tried to get done, it seemed like there was more that was left undone. Still keeping it together I just tried to push through. Do I regret the way that I studies? Hell Yeah! I should have started way earlier and been more hardworking! I take all the blame..*Duh! Who else can I blame kan?*

I sat for my first exam on Saturday. It was a long case. *We are given a patient to clerk history, examine them and finally come up with a diagnosis for their condition* It was bad enough that I was on the last day. That morning I find out I'm one of the last few to take the exam too!! So I wait and wait and wait till freaking 12.45pm before I am taken to my patient. I was kinda happy to get a Pediatric case not that I was hoping for one or that I was good in Peads. It was the one subject that I was least ready for. So yeah...although it was just a bronchial asthma case, my history wasn't perfect and I was not able to answer all the questions asked. *sad*

Once they let me go, I was having mixed feelings. It wasn't good nor bad...more of uneasiness.. guess I was just eager to know if I passed or not because deep down I don't wanna fail and not move on to final year with everyone else.

So anyways, I get home at about 2.45pm and there is just this sense of relief inside. It was like I could breathe again or something. I was so tired, exhausted and drained out. That's when I realised the condition my room was in. I was like 'OMG!!' hahaha...but I am glad that I managed to push myself through the exam.. and now I have to hit the books for my OSCE which is gonna start in like 10 hours time. Hopefully that goes well and i'll be halfway done with P2S1. =)