The Final Stretch!

It's here finally! The week I have been dreading! Oh my! The nerves have been kicking in for quite some time already but I keep suppressing them. But now I dunno... I'm stressed, tensed, freaking out. What if I don't get through this? I mean this is after all the BIG finals you know. I somehow manage to scrap through the other examinations but this is in like a whole new level.

I really want to get through this phase of my life and begin the next phase. The phase where I get to work and care for my family. I wanna be there for them and provide for them. But in order for that to happen I need to freaking pass this HUGE hurdle that is coming in a few days.

Good luck to all my friends who are sitting for this HURDLE together with me. Let's meet on the other side of the finish line!

How do I mend an unproductive day?

2nd week of study break. Most people have had immense progress in their studying at this point but looking at where I am... I'm so lost! Just a little shy of a week to go before it all happens - FINAL MBBS EXAMINATION. To imagine this is THE exam what would bring all my childhood ambitions that much closer. Its so surreal. At times I sit and think that it took me so long to get here and in the process of getting here somehow I kinda lost the passion I had when I told my Primary 4 class teacher I wanted to be a doctor!

Sigh.....

Keeping that aside, let's talk about today. More like yesterday! The 11th of August 2010. Had slept so late the night before. I think it was almost 530 am by the time I hit the bed and by the time I actually slept it was like almost 7. Why you ask? Well I was having a heart-to-heart session with a best friend over the phone. Something I used to do when I was in Manipal. It was nice and re-assuring at some points just to know that there is someone out there who would hear my rants and vents.

As a result of a late night, I only woke up at like 11am. Decided to do my laundry. After that was done, decided I will go to the library. It was quite productive to some extent in the library. Did some reading then went to the gym. *I've made it a point to drag my ass there everyday no matter what - so proud of myself* Came back home only to find out that my SATC2 download was finally over. How can I not watch this now that it is within my reach? *evil laugh*

OMG! The movie was thoroughly entertaining. I laughed so much. With all that has been happening, it was really nice to laugh and for a moment forget about everything. *P.S. Abu Dhabi is now on my list! The place is just gorgeous!!*

After the movie I went for dinner with Gill and Dav. I really do miss hanging out with my friends. With studybreak and all everyone is busy studying and we haven't hung out as a group. After this would be finals and soon we will all be going our separate ways. It's kinda sad to know that I would be leaving these guys because honestly my group of friends have been the most awesome bunch of people I have gotten to know over the years. From being studious to wild wild fun people, my friends are everything - the total package!! I love you guys no matter what!!

*not mentioning names because you know who you are and yes I do mean YOU!!*

Love - Just an overrated feeling??

This Saturday there was an article in the Sun newspaper about Love vs. Lust and I must say I found it to be a very interesting read. Though I didn't entirely agree on their definition and explanation of love and lust, it was 'interesting'.

For the past years I have been someone who believed in love and all those hopeless antics that comes with it. *though Love At First Sight I can never accept* You can call me someone who believes in all those cliche stuff about love. Butterflies in your stomach, the constant smile when you are with that person, so on and so forth. But sadly like the season my outlook on love is

slowly day by day diminishing... disappearing. I dare say I'm at the point of giving up on love. It's just too over-rated nowadays. The social standards that come with it and how at some point everyone has to fall in love. It has become more of a need or want rather than something that was meant to happen when you least expect it.

Just the other day I came across this book that had somewhat ofa questionaire about being in love and the questions asked were all the cliche ones. I mean how many of us has had butterflies in our stomachs when we meet that person? How many of us enjoy just being with that person without even needing to say a word - just their presence and their touch means so much? These kinda things are almost extinct nowadays. To those who still have it, I say you are indeed lucky and please for whatever reason DO NOT let it go.

Many people say love is somewhat of a compromise. But I feel no compromise is needed when there is love because we love that person for who they are and not for what they can become through compromise. That being said... at this age the whole idea of being in love - hugely OVERrated!!

Exams Galore!!

So well, it's the middle of the week. I was dreading the coming of this week all for the simple fact that this just means that my FINAL EXAMINATION is just around the corner.

Monday marked the beginning of the sessionals for Batch 17. I was all tensed and stressed about it because I felt like I knew nothing *and I still don't* going in for it. Monday was medicine MEQ day (includes Pediatrics, Internal Medicine, Psychiatry, Primary Care Medicine and Ophthalmology). After a 3 hour along paper, I came feeling not so bad as I was able to answer most of it and of course making a few silly mistakes here & there. Not to say that I am being boastful but compared to how I felt when I entered the exam hall, coming out was like a sigh of relief. But I knew that MEQ 2 which was surgery subjects was gonna be a whole different story. Surgery subjects constitute General Surgery, Pediatric Surgery, Anaesthesia, Otorhinolaryngology *sounds more high-fi ain't it?*, Orthopedics and Obstetrics & Gyanecology. Horrible subjects, I tell you, HORRIBLE!! So much to read about in so little time. * Yes yes. It is my fault to do it so last minute. Bluek!!*

So after Monday's paper, I reach home and thought that I would get some sleep before I start studying as it was gonna be a 'burning the midnight oil' kinda night! Next thing I know I wake up to be greeted by a dark sky and a clock saying it was 8.30pm!! Talk about an extended sleep!! By the time I pulled myself out of bed and freshened up it was almost 10pm. I had like plus minus 10 hours left. So with the help of Redbull and Choki-Choki I tried reading *more like flipping* as many pages as I could. Soon it was time for me to leave for the examination hall and to cut it short, the paper was awesome!! I kept laughing to myself after reading every single question. Almost nothing I read came out!! * Yes I know I didn't read everything but still - NOTHING??!!*

Today is a free day. Tomorrow we start our MCQ papers. Hopefully that will go a bit better. *Oh who am I kidding right? That's gonna suck too* I'm looking forward to Friday because after that last paper I'm homeward bound for the weekend!! Wish me luck!! =P

24th of July 2010

Yesterday marked the end of my clinical posting in medicine school. After 5 years of what-seemed like it would go on forever, of medical school I finally can see the finish line. Whether I will make it across the finish line or not is another story but I can see it.. Starting from today its gonna be massive studying and studying.. That's the plan. How much I will adhere to it is still questionable.

That being said. It's now 1030am so I think I better get started on that studying stuff. I will try my level best to blog every now and then.. =D To all my batch mates, Good luck guy for sessionals and finals.. We are a good batch and we will graduate out of this miserable place!! Let's do it!!

AFTER SO LONG!!

It sure has been a loooong time since I wrote to myself * I say so because nobody reads this. =_=* That being said, I find it therapeutic that I am able to blog/write things that I would say out loud if I had someone who would just hear.

Wow! Where do I start?? So many things have happened. Things that I thought I have gotten over now show a glimmer of hope and suddenly I find myself back in square 1. Sometimes I just feel like yelling. Is it just me or do things always happen during exams? It's been like that since Manipal. 1st year finals I had that amazing breakdown. 2nd year I can't remember what happened but I do remember getting ready to repeat a year. 3rd year *back in Malacca* was LOVE!! Smack right in the middle of my sessionals, within days I realised I was in love and at the same time realised it would never happen. The only logical thing to do was to get over it, which I still am!! Great right!!!

And now!! the amount of problem I am getting is simply amazing!! Every single week is something new.

I really need to focus and get my degree. Once that is in hand, I would be a huge load off my mind. I need a fresh start! Really very badly need one. Looking forward for the day when my blog will have happy and exciting blogs by me rather than emo-fied ones filled with sorrow and hurt! Hopefully it comes soon... =(

Today (28th April 2010)

These past few days have not been going that well for me. I was down with a fever and sore throat. Then flu and now a kinda bad cough. I haven't been getting much sleep either.

Today, I must say, was a bad day for me. I have been cranky and in an annoyed mood throughout the whole day. As a result, I didn't get much studying done *although I was staring at the book for like hours* and I got worked up about other small little things which really should not be any of my concern ANYMORE!!

It doesn't help that when I'm annoyed and irritated the next phase to follow suit would be my emo moments. Yes of course! That came along too. AAAAaaaaaaRRRRrrrGGGggggHHHHhhhhhh!!!

I'm pissed, emo-fied and tired!!