Sigh of Relief....but is it really??

OMG!! It's finally over... Truth be told I never thought I would be this tensed up about an exam.. But I guess as the days went by the reality and the seriousness of the situation kinda kicked in and that did not do good to my stress level..

Here's the deal. I don't know what you guys mean when you say 'Oh! I'm so scared for the exam. I'm so not ready. I'm so scared I'm gonna fail!' When you hear those words coming out of my mouth I really mean it. If I don't I just wouldn't say it.

So 2 weeks of study break didn't do any justice to my studying. *In case you are wondering what I'm rambling about... I just sat for my 4th year medical school finals* Actually let's be honest.. I didn't do justice to my 2 week study break. Let's not say where the time went and what I was doing instead of burying my sad face in my books. But yeah! It just flew by and the next thing I know I just have a few more days left for my exams to start.

Tried to stuff my brain with as much stuff as I could. I was freaking out but outside I think I kinda held it pretty well. Wouldn't say I was calm and collected but at the same time I was screaming hysterically!

I have to thank a friend of mine who made sure I studied every night. Gurpreet, thank you so much! I hope all those nights and morning at Mcd studying will pay off. You are a good friend!

So back to ME! =) Towards the end, my sleeping hours were becoming lesser and lesser. * I guess that's normal in everyone's case right?*

As much as I tried to get done, it seemed like there was more that was left undone. Still keeping it together I just tried to push through. Do I regret the way that I studies? Hell Yeah! I should have started way earlier and been more hardworking! I take all the blame..*Duh! Who else can I blame kan?*

I sat for my first exam on Saturday. It was a long case. *We are given a patient to clerk history, examine them and finally come up with a diagnosis for their condition* It was bad enough that I was on the last day. That morning I find out I'm one of the last few to take the exam too!! So I wait and wait and wait till freaking 12.45pm before I am taken to my patient. I was kinda happy to get a Pediatric case not that I was hoping for one or that I was good in Peads. It was the one subject that I was least ready for. So yeah...although it was just a bronchial asthma case, my history wasn't perfect and I was not able to answer all the questions asked. *sad*

Once they let me go, I was having mixed feelings. It wasn't good nor bad...more of uneasiness.. guess I was just eager to know if I passed or not because deep down I don't wanna fail and not move on to final year with everyone else.

So anyways, I get home at about 2.45pm and there is just this sense of relief inside. It was like I could breathe again or something. I was so tired, exhausted and drained out. That's when I realised the condition my room was in. I was like 'OMG!!' hahaha...but I am glad that I managed to push myself through the exam.. and now I have to hit the books for my OSCE which is gonna start in like 10 hours time. Hopefully that goes well and i'll be halfway done with P2S1. =)

Period of inactivity.

Hey guys,

*Am in denial and think that people actually read my blog =P*

You might be wondering why I have not been very actively blogging of late. Well I have my 4th year finals coming up and right now I'm in 'freak-out' mode! But once it's on the way, I shall return to my blogging. *as I promised YOU*

So don't miss me much. To my fellow bloggers, keep on blogging. Doesn't mean I will stop reading yr blogs okay? Stay safe you'll!!

Rising stress levels...

As if I don't have my hands full with my up-coming 4th year finals (P2S1), last week's national incident was just contributing more to it. I have no idea why it affects me so much but it did and it still does! In case you people have no clue about what I am talking about, it is the protest against the relocation of the temple.

For something like this to happen just a few days before we celebrate our 52nd Independence Day was just saddening. I don't understand the necessity of the protest. It could have be carried out in a more civilized way rather than what happened. After 52 years of being an independent country and living somewhat harmoniously, something like this just dampens our spirit. When I viewed the video, I felt embarrassed because I was a Malaysia. Yes I was angry about the cow head but more importantly the way they spoke while rioting, their behaviour and mannerisms were just very unbecoming of an educated Malaysian.

Why the riot was allowed to continue even after threats about bloodshed and racial disturbances were made is a question we all ask till today? But sadly no answer has been provided. Instead the ISA protocol is being reviewed and ministers are justifying the riot. Many people are upset at the way this issue is being handled.

Apart from that there is the impending doom of my finals hanging in the background. At the rate I am going I have doubts about making it through and progressing to my final year. Thank god the study break is here. Its now time to shift into ultraspeed and make some progress with my studies. Hopefully I will be able to pull myself through.

On a brighter note, some nice things did happen this week as well. I had a visit from someone very special and that most certainly made my day. (Thank you for that!). I have managed to patch up things with a friend of mine. And last but certainly not least I am now back on my normal sleeping schedule. *Most of the time that is*