An update....

In case you didn't get the memo... I FREAKING PASSED MEDICAL SCHOOL!! WOOHOO!!!!!

Yes after 5 years of slogging and cramming I have finally graduated from medical school.

At times it feels like it took me forever to reach here and then there are times when I just feel time flew by so fast.

It is just an amazing feeling to finally have something to show all those people who said 'Why you still studying?' or 'Not working yet ah?' In your face! Double degree graduate!! Hah!!!

I am ever so excited to start this new phase of my life where I can finally work on building my career.

As I leave my medical student life, i definitely need to acknowledge the presence of my wonderful friends and batchmates. Without these people my medical school life wouldn't have been so exciting and I wouldn't have so many memories and stories to recall and remember. To all these people you guys are AMAZING and it truly is a pleasure to graduate alongside you guys!!

To my friends: Words cannot describe how I feel about you guys. You have been there through all the drama and fun. What a ride it has been!! Thank you so much for every little thing you guys have done. Memories to last a lifetime and a bond that would transcend years....

Finally....

21st of September 2010... This date marks the final day of my 5 year battle and struggle in medical school *Yes it was a struggle for me* This past month has really been a tough one for me - stuffing in all that information learnt over the past 5 years - I felt like I was going to lose it. But now it's all over and the wait is here. Waiting for that day to come. That day that will change my life and make my parents happy that finally their son has done it.

What can I do now? PRAY!!! Pray!!! and pray! =P

Today - 2nd Sept 2010

Of all the days you have hurt me today has been the worst.

That tone in your voice I recognize it all so well and I guess hearing you today did snap me back to reality.

I am confused as to what I should do and how I should react.

As of now I am pissed and so very hurt. So don't bother saying anything because after today things are gonna be different. I did say this would happen but you said I shouldn't preach my concepts in life. So whatever to that! you would realize how much you have hurt me one day and by the time that comes I would have recovered and would have found the strength to say what I cannot say now...

Whatever is said this is on me. I brought is upon myself and I should have been more careful. You had your time now let me have mine!

I hate you!

I HATE YOU

HATE YOU

YOU! I HATE!!!

HATE with a capital H A T and E!!!

Is your sole purpose in life to see me hurt??

If that is so, well Congratu-fucking-lations!!!

Mission accomplished for you!!!!

Now pack up and LEAVE!!!

Almost halfway done!

Today at 12 something in the afternoon marked the end of my Final MBBS MEQ portion of the examinations. It started last Friday with the medicine paper and today was the surgical paper. Both paper had their pros and cons but whatever they are I'm just glad that it is over. I hope I had done enough to at least pull my marks up to a passing grade.

Next hurdle would be the multiple choice questions which begin on Wednesday and end on Friday. Looking forward to the weekend?? Not really. I still have my OSCE exam on the following Tuesday. It is like a never-ending strings of exams one after the other. I hope I come out of this as a doctor. I really don't want to spend another 6 months staring at my text books.

Today after the paper I decided I wanted to go bowling! It was my way of kinda releasing all my anger, stress and tension. And it kinda worked after bowling strikes and spares I did feel much better afterwards. Highest score so far 172. =D Next target to score more than 200!

After bowling, Daveena, Taran and I went to Jusco to do some window shopping. Actually more like I did some window shopping and those 2 actually did buy some stuff.

We then met up with Gillian, Andrew, Dinesh and Ruben for dinner and Papa John's Pizza. I really did enjoy dinner. The pizza we ordered ( The Mexican Ole and Chicken Super Papa) was good! The main reason we were all out and in Jusco tonight was because of Baskin Robbins. They were having this discount in conjunction with Merdeka - 31% off every pint, quart, or half gallon of any flavour. Who would miss that right??!! So we all went for it. =D

I ended up buying 2 pints for myself which now sits quietly in my freezer awaiting me... =D

You don't get to....

You don't get to call me up and act like nothing ever did happen.

You don't get to expect me to act or normal.

You don't get to expect anything from me anymore.

Simply for the fact when all I expected from you was just you and your presence but what I got in return was just tears and heartache!!

So NO!!

You don't get to question anything about me or my behaviour.

You don't get to have any say in anything I do!

You just DON'T!!!....

The Final Stretch!

It's here finally! The week I have been dreading! Oh my! The nerves have been kicking in for quite some time already but I keep suppressing them. But now I dunno... I'm stressed, tensed, freaking out. What if I don't get through this? I mean this is after all the BIG finals you know. I somehow manage to scrap through the other examinations but this is in like a whole new level.

I really want to get through this phase of my life and begin the next phase. The phase where I get to work and care for my family. I wanna be there for them and provide for them. But in order for that to happen I need to freaking pass this HUGE hurdle that is coming in a few days.

Good luck to all my friends who are sitting for this HURDLE together with me. Let's meet on the other side of the finish line!

How do I mend an unproductive day?

2nd week of study break. Most people have had immense progress in their studying at this point but looking at where I am... I'm so lost! Just a little shy of a week to go before it all happens - FINAL MBBS EXAMINATION. To imagine this is THE exam what would bring all my childhood ambitions that much closer. Its so surreal. At times I sit and think that it took me so long to get here and in the process of getting here somehow I kinda lost the passion I had when I told my Primary 4 class teacher I wanted to be a doctor!

Sigh.....

Keeping that aside, let's talk about today. More like yesterday! The 11th of August 2010. Had slept so late the night before. I think it was almost 530 am by the time I hit the bed and by the time I actually slept it was like almost 7. Why you ask? Well I was having a heart-to-heart session with a best friend over the phone. Something I used to do when I was in Manipal. It was nice and re-assuring at some points just to know that there is someone out there who would hear my rants and vents.

As a result of a late night, I only woke up at like 11am. Decided to do my laundry. After that was done, decided I will go to the library. It was quite productive to some extent in the library. Did some reading then went to the gym. *I've made it a point to drag my ass there everyday no matter what - so proud of myself* Came back home only to find out that my SATC2 download was finally over. How can I not watch this now that it is within my reach? *evil laugh*

OMG! The movie was thoroughly entertaining. I laughed so much. With all that has been happening, it was really nice to laugh and for a moment forget about everything. *P.S. Abu Dhabi is now on my list! The place is just gorgeous!!*

After the movie I went for dinner with Gill and Dav. I really do miss hanging out with my friends. With studybreak and all everyone is busy studying and we haven't hung out as a group. After this would be finals and soon we will all be going our separate ways. It's kinda sad to know that I would be leaving these guys because honestly my group of friends have been the most awesome bunch of people I have gotten to know over the years. From being studious to wild wild fun people, my friends are everything - the total package!! I love you guys no matter what!!

*not mentioning names because you know who you are and yes I do mean YOU!!*

Love - Just an overrated feeling??

This Saturday there was an article in the Sun newspaper about Love vs. Lust and I must say I found it to be a very interesting read. Though I didn't entirely agree on their definition and explanation of love and lust, it was 'interesting'.

For the past years I have been someone who believed in love and all those hopeless antics that comes with it. *though Love At First Sight I can never accept* You can call me someone who believes in all those cliche stuff about love. Butterflies in your stomach, the constant smile when you are with that person, so on and so forth. But sadly like the season my outlook on love is

slowly day by day diminishing... disappearing. I dare say I'm at the point of giving up on love. It's just too over-rated nowadays. The social standards that come with it and how at some point everyone has to fall in love. It has become more of a need or want rather than something that was meant to happen when you least expect it.

Just the other day I came across this book that had somewhat ofa questionaire about being in love and the questions asked were all the cliche ones. I mean how many of us has had butterflies in our stomachs when we meet that person? How many of us enjoy just being with that person without even needing to say a word - just their presence and their touch means so much? These kinda things are almost extinct nowadays. To those who still have it, I say you are indeed lucky and please for whatever reason DO NOT let it go.

Many people say love is somewhat of a compromise. But I feel no compromise is needed when there is love because we love that person for who they are and not for what they can become through compromise. That being said... at this age the whole idea of being in love - hugely OVERrated!!

Exams Galore!!

So well, it's the middle of the week. I was dreading the coming of this week all for the simple fact that this just means that my FINAL EXAMINATION is just around the corner.

Monday marked the beginning of the sessionals for Batch 17. I was all tensed and stressed about it because I felt like I knew nothing *and I still don't* going in for it. Monday was medicine MEQ day (includes Pediatrics, Internal Medicine, Psychiatry, Primary Care Medicine and Ophthalmology). After a 3 hour along paper, I came feeling not so bad as I was able to answer most of it and of course making a few silly mistakes here & there. Not to say that I am being boastful but compared to how I felt when I entered the exam hall, coming out was like a sigh of relief. But I knew that MEQ 2 which was surgery subjects was gonna be a whole different story. Surgery subjects constitute General Surgery, Pediatric Surgery, Anaesthesia, Otorhinolaryngology *sounds more high-fi ain't it?*, Orthopedics and Obstetrics & Gyanecology. Horrible subjects, I tell you, HORRIBLE!! So much to read about in so little time. * Yes yes. It is my fault to do it so last minute. Bluek!!*

So after Monday's paper, I reach home and thought that I would get some sleep before I start studying as it was gonna be a 'burning the midnight oil' kinda night! Next thing I know I wake up to be greeted by a dark sky and a clock saying it was 8.30pm!! Talk about an extended sleep!! By the time I pulled myself out of bed and freshened up it was almost 10pm. I had like plus minus 10 hours left. So with the help of Redbull and Choki-Choki I tried reading *more like flipping* as many pages as I could. Soon it was time for me to leave for the examination hall and to cut it short, the paper was awesome!! I kept laughing to myself after reading every single question. Almost nothing I read came out!! * Yes I know I didn't read everything but still - NOTHING??!!*

Today is a free day. Tomorrow we start our MCQ papers. Hopefully that will go a bit better. *Oh who am I kidding right? That's gonna suck too* I'm looking forward to Friday because after that last paper I'm homeward bound for the weekend!! Wish me luck!! =P

24th of July 2010

Yesterday marked the end of my clinical posting in medicine school. After 5 years of what-seemed like it would go on forever, of medical school I finally can see the finish line. Whether I will make it across the finish line or not is another story but I can see it.. Starting from today its gonna be massive studying and studying.. That's the plan. How much I will adhere to it is still questionable.

That being said. It's now 1030am so I think I better get started on that studying stuff. I will try my level best to blog every now and then.. =D To all my batch mates, Good luck guy for sessionals and finals.. We are a good batch and we will graduate out of this miserable place!! Let's do it!!

AFTER SO LONG!!

It sure has been a loooong time since I wrote to myself * I say so because nobody reads this. =_=* That being said, I find it therapeutic that I am able to blog/write things that I would say out loud if I had someone who would just hear.

Wow! Where do I start?? So many things have happened. Things that I thought I have gotten over now show a glimmer of hope and suddenly I find myself back in square 1. Sometimes I just feel like yelling. Is it just me or do things always happen during exams? It's been like that since Manipal. 1st year finals I had that amazing breakdown. 2nd year I can't remember what happened but I do remember getting ready to repeat a year. 3rd year *back in Malacca* was LOVE!! Smack right in the middle of my sessionals, within days I realised I was in love and at the same time realised it would never happen. The only logical thing to do was to get over it, which I still am!! Great right!!!

And now!! the amount of problem I am getting is simply amazing!! Every single week is something new.

I really need to focus and get my degree. Once that is in hand, I would be a huge load off my mind. I need a fresh start! Really very badly need one. Looking forward for the day when my blog will have happy and exciting blogs by me rather than emo-fied ones filled with sorrow and hurt! Hopefully it comes soon... =(

Today (28th April 2010)

These past few days have not been going that well for me. I was down with a fever and sore throat. Then flu and now a kinda bad cough. I haven't been getting much sleep either.

Today, I must say, was a bad day for me. I have been cranky and in an annoyed mood throughout the whole day. As a result, I didn't get much studying done *although I was staring at the book for like hours* and I got worked up about other small little things which really should not be any of my concern ANYMORE!!

It doesn't help that when I'm annoyed and irritated the next phase to follow suit would be my emo moments. Yes of course! That came along too. AAAAaaaaaaRRRRrrrGGGggggHHHHhhhhhh!!!

I'm pissed, emo-fied and tired!!

An Amazing Weekend in KL

This past weekend was Gill's sister's (Steph) wedding. It was an afternoon church wedding followed by a reception later that evening.

I recall attending a church wedding once when I was fairly younger. So this was something I was looking forward to. Dinesh and I left Malacca on Saturday morning at around 10am. We reached his home at about 11.30 and I was told we would be leaving in about half an hour or so as we were to be in the church by 1.30pm. So we got ready and left for the church. All the way through my stomach was grumbling. *hadn't had anything to eat since morning*

Finding St. Francis Xavier church at Jalan Gasing definitely proved to be a feat! After combatting our way through an impossible housing area we stumble upon the church at about 1.10pm only to find that we were among the first 10 people to be there. *truth be told the wedding was only at 2pm but still after being told to be there by 1.30pm I would have expected to see more people I guess*

As the time rolled by, one after another, guests started to arrive and soon the bridal car arrived. I saw Gill in this bright blue bridesmaid dress and she looked like she had grown taller. First I thought it was her hair as it was kinda swept to one side *F.Y.I. Gill looked amazing!!* but then I kinda figured it must be her shoes. =D

You know how they say that the bride always looks gorgeous on her wedding day. Well this bride looked amazing, breath-taking-jaw-dropping elegant. It was kinda hard to take your eyes of her. In her gorgeous wedding dress with that never ending trail behind her, impeccable detailing on the dress - WOW!!

Led by her flower girls and the ring bearer *the ring bearer was this small boy who took his job so seriously that he hardly took his eyes of those rings* the bride then made her way towards the man of the hour, her soon-to-be husband. =D

The priest decided to give a talk about lust and love, how they are indistinguishable. Well as the saying goes, to each their own.. i disagree with the priest's talk and will stand by my notion how they (love and lust) are absolutely 2 different things.

The wedding ceremony was before I knew it but it was a beautiful one nevertheless.

One thing that I shall always remember when I think of this particular wedding is the look in the bride's eye every single time she saw her man, be it when saying her vows or just simply catching a glimpse of her guy. *This is gonna be hard to explain so bear with me* It was a look that said and showed how much she loved him and how happy she was at that particular moment. It was a look of absolute indefinite bliss!! I was happy to see someone that happy get married to the person that is the cause of all that happiness...

Many people get married these days without even truly embracing the concept of love... selfless love. But this one shall forever be in my memory as a model wedding!! =)

Once everything was over in the church, Dinesh and I rushed back home with our stomach grumbling with hunger. Dinesh's mom had cooked an amazing lunch for us. After enjoying that home-cooked meal, what more is there left to do but sleep!! *Well at least I did*

Woke up at around 5.30pm and started to get ready to leave for the wedding reception.

The dinner reception was at The Ritz Carlton. What can I say about the reception? Great food, good wine, nice music, awesome ambiance - what else do you need?? Hehehe...

The bride's favourite quote was a beautiful one although at this point I can't seem to recall it. *Sigh* The mother of the bride gave a speech which was very moving - about family, togetherness and love.

After a long night of chatting, laughing and indulging in good food, we headed back home as we (Dinesh and I) were to return to Malacca the next day.

All in all, it was a weekend filled with laughter, happiness and good memories. =)

Back After a Very Long Break.

Yes yes I know you missed me.. *not like anyone reads this shit anyways kan?*

I know I have been absent since my last blog which was like for my birthday. Been super lazy and clinical postings have been somewhat on the crazy side.

So anyways I'm back and I'm gonna make it a point to at least post one blog each week. Okay? Let's hope I stick to it.. Hhahaha..

Truth be told blogging is actually kinda fun for me. Like right now I'm not analysing what I'm typing. I'm just typing whatever that's in my head which is quite relieving to me. =_=*

Anyways lots of things have happened over the few weeks and I'm gonna be blogging abt a few of them. So keep up and hope my blog entertains you. *Just realised that kinda didnt make any sense BUT it's my blog. YOU dont get to judge!=P*

My 25th Birthday...

17th February.... the day I was eagerly looking forward to and not-so-eagerly looking forward to. Turning 25 years old...*sigh* Feels like I haven't done anything in my life and it already been a quarter of a century. But when I look back at all the years that have passed I smile after seeing how much I have grown as a person *for better or for worse*.

Surviving life for 25 years with all the drama is kinda somewhat of an accomplishment. *hahaha*

Anyways this year my birthday was awesome as usual. Before I say any further about my birthday I wanna say thanks to Dinesh, Gillian and Daveena. You guys are awesome. Thanks a lot for everything guys!!

'Knock..knock..' At 12 midnight as I open the door there stood all my friends - Taran holding the cake, Daveena, Dinesh, Ruben, Chandan, Gayathri, Tasha, Gurpreet, Bob, Sharmila, Veno and Sashini. As I was cutting my cake I receive a call from Gill wishing me. What was my birthday cake?? Secret Recipe's Moist Chocolate cake and yes it was GOooooo-oooOOD!!

As the cake was distributed and everyone was eating it, I was admiring my presents. *Ain't that the best part of birthdays*

Even the O&G department decided to give me a birthday present this year - I was to be on-call from 9am till 9 pm in the labour room of Muar GH!! How awesome right? Well I did honour their present and was there till like 2pm. I was not about to let my birthday pass by in the labour room kan?

Dav took me out for lunch and dinner that night. I had to get back and study for the all-so-waste of time block test that I had on Thursday morning! Anyways my birthday dinner was postponed to Thursday. We had it an Zest in Renaissance Hotel, Malacca. The decor and atmosphere of the place was nice and the buffet was good. After filling our stomachs to the brim *literally! We were all super stuffed* with great difficulty we made our way back home.

To all my friends:

Thanks guys for everything! It was an awesome birthday! =)

A Long Time Ago

I know it's been ages since my last post.. actually it hasnt been that long but it just feels so. Tonight I'm sitting here typing because of obvious reasons that I am refraining to jump on my bed and sink into slumber land! A.K.A High....

Lalalalalalala

Wanna judge me on that? I dun give two rats' A**!!

Tonight was Leeky's birthday dinner followed by a small gathering at her house. Boy oh boy was it a... How shall I put it??...LOUD gathering... hehehe but I sure had lotsa fun. Laughed so much... practically most of the time.. Btw guys... ice is meant for putting in drinks!! Don't go crazy with it!! *winks*

Some call it a nightmare, others say its a waking-up call....

I say its losing someone who meant a lot to many people....

16th of January 2009, I was awakened by the shocking news of that someone I knew had just passed away. I say just because he had passed away merely hours before I got the news. I just sat there at the edge of my bed totally and utterly enveloped in shock!! Somehow when I went to sleep hours before that, never did I imagine that this is how the following day would be...

Ganesha... I may not have spoken to you or even known you as well as some of your very close friends and batchmates but somehow you leaving us has left a huge impact.

Being there at the mortuary that day, after the memorials and all... it was and still IS a huge loss that you have left us. I am definitely not wrong when I say that you have touched many people's life in so many different ways.

And now you get to look over all those who you hold dearly and close to your heart. Rest in peace my friend! Rest in Peace. =)